'Super Luigi 3 By Crazy Packers Fan'''''
''''This is Super Luigi 3... what? There wasn’t a Super Luigi 1 or 2? What are you talking about? This is supposed to be right after Super Mario Bros. 3, except this time Luigi is trying to save Daisy, and Susan has 'joined the crack crew of Koopalings in a totally new adventure. But first... '
''''Platform: Game Boy Advance'
''''What? You were expecting Playstation 2? This is just a 2-dimensional adventure, that’s all. Except 14 new 'lands... '
''''Genre: Action or adventure or something like that...'
''''ESRB Rating: “E” for “Everyone”. Surprise!'
''''This game will be so good, losers will pay the $75 for it. All right, Nintendo will cut it to $30, but really, it’s worth $75.'
''''You turn on the Game Boy Advance, and you notice that nothing is happening. That’s because you have to put the game in first. So, once you start to play this game and lose all of your measly five lives I’ve given you, you decide to look at the dumb instruction manual.'
''''Control Pad: Move left or right/down to duck/down to go down pipes/up to climb vines and chains/A and up to go up pipes'
''''A: Jump, continuously to fly'
''''B: Throw weapon/wag tail'
''''L: Switch item you have now with item in item box'
''''R: Shoot gun'
''''Select: Use emergency Starman/Koopaling Suit'
''''Start: Pause game'
''''Super Luigi 3: A whole new game and adventure'
''''Super Mario Bros. 3: Play the remake of Super Mario Bros. 3, two-player mode available'
''''Now that you know that there are three modes in this game, all featuring Luigi, maybe it makes sense that 'it’s Super Luigi 3! It still doesn’t? All right, then, I quit. It’s no use talking to morons who don’t understand- wait a minute, I’ll just torture you by going through the game anyway! And it’ll be too bad if you don’t like it! Here we go:! '
''''Super Luigi 3'
''''World 9: Fire Land: Larry Koopa'
''''World 11: Fortress Land: Roy Koopa'
''''World 12: Vine Land: Iggy Koopa'
''''World 13: Chain Land: Lemmy Koopa'
''''World 14: Maze Land: Ludwig von Koopa'
''''World 15: Coin Land: Wendy O. Koopa'
''''World 16: Underground Land: Susan B. Koopa'
''''World 17: Ferocious Land: Clawdia Koopa'
''''World 18: Brick Land: Waluigi'
''''World 19: Bullet Land: Donkey Kong'
''''World 20: Bomb Land: Donkey Kong Jr.'
''''World 21: Sub-con Land: Wart'
''''World 22: Troopa Land: Bowser Koopa'
''''Mushroom: * Pathetic! You become bigger. So what?!'
''''Fire Flower: ** You shoot fireballs. How dumb and boring!'
''''Hammer Brothers Suit: ***1/2 The best suit in Super Mario Bros. 3, and certainly fine in this one, the 'Hammer Brothers Suit lets you fire hammers at opponents, and ducking (by pressing down on the Control Pad) lets you become invulnerable to fireballs. '
''''Frog Suit: **1/2 Once the worst item ever, the Frog Suit now lets you fire a water gun at fire opponents to defeat them or turn lava into water, a must in some levels. Press B and the direction you want to fire the water gun at the same time to fire the water gun. It has no effect on any opponent but fire opponents and 'Larry. '
''''Super Leaf: **1/2 You can fly with this after charging up to run. You can also wag your tail to defeat opponents.'
''''Tanooki Suit: **** Certainly the best suit in this game, the Tanooki Suit lets you have all the powers of a Super Leaf and a Fire Flower, plus be able to turn into an immobile statue for five seconds by pressing B and down at the same time. Pressing B lets you fire a fireball and wag your tail at the same time, meaning 'you can fly and shoot fire at the same time and have the chance of becoming a statue! '
''''Troopa Gun: *** Here’s a newbie: the Troopa Gun lets you fire miniature Bullet or Missile Bills, depending on how long you hold down the R Button. Tapping the R Button fires a Bullet Bill, while a Missile Bill will 'come out when you hold down the R Button for five seconds. They will follow you and wipe out all opponents around you. '
''''Boomerang Brothers Suit: ***1/2 Better than the Troopa Gun and as good as the Hammer Brothers Suit, the Boomerang Brothers Suit lets you fire Boomerangs at opponents, with the same potency as Hammers. Also 'ducking (with down) will make you invulnerable to fireballs and, this time, hammers too! '
''''Sledge Brothers Suit: **** Possibly as good as the Tanooki Suit, the Sledge Brothers Suit lets you fire super-big sledge hammers and stun all enemies on the screen (but not defeat them) when you jump (with A, of course, I hope you knew). Ducking (with the down button, for you morons out there) will make you 'invulnerable to fireballs, hammers, and boomerangs too! '
''''Kuribo’s Shoe: **1/2 This was a good item before, but now it’s kind of boring because, although you can get 'it in about three stages, you will probably lose it quickly because you will get nailed by fireballs easily. '
''''P-Wing: **** For all you cheaters out there, here’s how to complete an outside course without trying!'
''''Jugem’s Cloud: ***1/2 I know that you just love cheating, so here’s another way to skip a level, except if you lose on the next level, you will have to beat that level after all!'
''''Starman: *** Grants temporary invincibility; temporary is the key word.'
''''1-Up Mushroom: **** For this game, it’s a necessity to get extra lives (especially with no continues).'
''''Coin: ** Well, it’s a start, but you got 99 more to go for an extra life!'
''''Anchor: It’s not in this game!'
''''Hammer: It’s not in this game either!'
''''Music Box: I’m getting sick of telling ya, it’s not in this game either!'
''''Koopaling Suits: **** These are suits you get when you beat the Koopalings. You only get one of each (when 'you beat a Koopaling), and some of these are awfully important. Especially if you’re playing against a boss... '
''''Larry Koopa Suit: Lets you throw vegetables with the B button.'
''''Morton Koopa Jr. Suit: Lets you stun all enemies on the screen with your annoying voice by pressing that B 'button. '
''''Wendy O. Koopa Suit: Lets you throw Candy Rings by pressing the B button.'
''''Iggy Koopa Suit: Lets you become bigger, able to crush all enemies, for five big seconds when you press the B Button.'
''''Roy Koopa Suit: Lets you punch out any enemy when you press that B Button.'
''''Lemmy Koopa Suit: Lets you jump on a circus ball and throw circus balls with that B button.'
''''Ludwig von Koopa Suit: Lets you play a portable piano with deadly notes that kill opponents and enemies upon pressing that B button.'
''''Susan B. Koopa Suit: Lets you blow deadly bubbles at your opponents upon pressing the B button.'
''''Fire Land: The point of this land is to burn you before you can do anything else. This game’s difficulty picks up where it left off at Dark Land, so if you STINK at video games, why did you buy this game? You won’t make it past the first level! The newest thing is that the first level has Gun Troopas. I know it would never make it through Nintendo, but these are Troopas who fire miniature Bullet or Missile Bills out of their guns at you. They can be jumped on, but the chances of jumping on them are the chances of you getting the Green Bay Packers unlocked in my other game (Nintendo Football League). It won’t happen. Anyway, jumping on such a Troopa and kicking away their shells lets you pick up the gun and use it by pressing R. You will lose this before you lose a suit. After nine hard levels and two fortresses, you will face Larry Koopa in his Firey Castle. After you lose all your lives but one, you’ll finally make it to him. The room is filled with lava; the only thing that beats Larry is the Frog Suit. Larry can throw fireballs at you; your Frog Suit’s water gun will defeat his fireballs and, ultimately, him. First take out any fireball he throws at you; then shoot your water gun at him three times to beat him. However, it isn’t that easy; you’ve got constantly jumping Podoboos and a long room, and Larry will jump into a pipe and end up somewhere else randomly, making it a long and arduous process. Plus, if you lose your Frog Suit, the only way to beat Larry is to get back your Frog Suit by jumping back into the first pipe you came through, hitting the block outside the pipe you came 'in through, getting the Frog Suit back, and having Larry back at being hit zero times. Impossible? I hope. '
''''Thwomp Land: This place is full of Thwomps, and mainly underground places. Ten boards, three fortresses, and Thwomp Center, the home of Morton Koopa Jr.. You will have to make it through a corridor of 15 Thwomps and no power-ups right before the pipe and the final power-up, the Hammer Brothers Suit. Put on your Hammer Brothers Suit and jump in the pipe. Now hammer Morton Koopa Jr. three times with your hammers to win, but remember- he will jump in and out of pipes often, making it another long and arduous process. Morton Koopa Jr. fires Thwimps at you, and Thwomps continue to fly at you from all sides of the room. The grandaddy of all Thwomps, Wham Thwomp, awaits when you have Morton hammered twice. He is the size of four Thwomps put together and needs to be hammered four times to be defeated. He also shakes the ground when landing, rendering you helpless if Morton tosses a Thwimp your way or a Thwomp comes falling or flying your way. He will also kill you automatically if he lands on top of you. If you run into him, he 'will not kill you, but you’ll lose that Hammer Brothers Suit. Oh, and by the way, make sure you go back in the pipe and get that Hammer Brothers Suit if you lose it to stand any chance of winning. Go in the first pipe you came in, you know, the one that you started the battle by coming out of it? '
''''Fortress Land: This place has eleven fortresses, that’s right, eleven of ’em, not just one, two, or three. Plus, that doesn’t even count the grandaddy of all fortresses, The Great Koopa Fortress, the one Roy resides in. Think of the largest and hardest Mario course of all time, multiply it by ten, and there you have this one. Of course, beating Roy is the whole problem. Once you get to him, you’re surrounded by more Thwomps, Boos, Stretches, Roto Discs, and Dry Bones. Roy throws punches at you. No, they don’t actually fly at you, but come close and they will. Ha ha! Isn’t that easy?! Just stay away from Roy and you’ll win, right?! Wrong. You have to beat him with your Super Leaf, so you have to nail him three times by wagging your tail at him. Of course, even if you come from behind, he’ll turn on you and punch you out. Actually not totally out- just losing your Super Leaf. If you lose your Super Leaf, go in the pipe you came from, collect the Super Leaf (or Mushroom- if you’re little now) and come back, with Roy totally refreshed. Roy will stun you with his jumps, and sometimes jump at you, jump towards you, or jump on you. If he lands on you, you’re done. Plus, even if 'you do hit him, he’ll just jump in a pipe and land somewhere else, stunning you once more. By the way, you’re fighting him on a rapidly moving conveyor belt that Roy has rigged so only you, not him, are effected. '
''''Vine Land: How the heck did you make it this far? This is supposed to be the hardest game ever! Anyway, climb up vines and down vines, left vines and right vines (by pressing left and right on the vines themselves), and avoid Hoopsters (that’s right, Hoopsters are back) on the vines to make it through twelve hard levels and two tough fortresses. Once at VineMania Palace, you’ll find that there’s no way to get to Iggy, even after climbing the tallest vine. Unfortunately, the programmers said that there had to be a way out. So you have to use your firepower (I hope you have it from a block beneath) to burn a wall of grass. Once through that wall, you’ll find a pipe, a block for a Fire Flower which you won’t need right now, and then enter the pipe to meet Iggy. This is a room with many vines and a grass floor. Iggy will become bigger and 'toss ice blocks at you. Fire defeats ice blocks in this game, so defeat those ice blocks and go on to fireball Iggy three times, swinging from vine to vine, avoiding Hoopsters as you go, Fireball Iggy when you swing past him, or when he swings past you. Again, he’ll change pipes when hit, and you’ll have to go back to the first pipe when hit to survive, and to power-up again, and to destroy Iggy, and to reset Iggy to zero times nailed. '
''''Chain Land: Lemmy runs this place which is exactly like Vine Land but with chains. And chains. And chains. Basically, all this place is is chains. With Sparkies going around them. After thirteen tough, difficult levels and three tough, difficult fortresses, you’ll be ready to pass out. And then, once you meet up with Lemmy in Chain Castle, you’ll have to beat him using Kuribo’s Shoe. You can get it from a Kuribo’s Goomba right outside the pipe. Stomp Lemmy with the shoe thrice (three times) to defeat him. He will try to freeze you with 'his Freeze Gun, roll at you on his circus call, throw circus balls at you, and occasionally throw chains at you, rendering you helpless. This time, you’re battling in a room with Sparkies going around it. And remember, your Shoe stomps them- and then disintegrates. Also remember to leave the room if your shoe is lost, of course resetting Lemmy’s status, and remember to watch out when Lemmy gets hit, because he will jump up, go in a pipe, and come out somewhere else, completely randomly. '
''''Maze Land: This place has fourteen mazes and four maze fortresses. Then it has Ultimate Maze Mansion, the home of Ludwig von Koopa, the maze master of them all. It is such a long maze, you’ll wonder how it got to be this way. Once you’re out, you can finally battle Ludwig von Koopa. His place is full of conveyor belts going crazy. Like Roy Koopa, he can jump and crush you. Unlike Roy Koopa, he plays a piano, or an organ, or an accordian, or something like that. These notes that are fired at you can only be defeated by boomerangs. So you need a Boomerang Brothers Suit, available right outside the pipe to get into Ludwig von Koopa’s lair. Of course, if you get hit, get out fast and get the Boomerang Brothers Suit back again. Ducking (with down, again, of course, if you didn’t know that!) won’t save you from the notes. Now what?! Nail Ludwig Von Koopa with three boomerangs to win. He’ll, of course, re-enter a pipe each time and 'he’ll, of course, re-exit a pipe each time, and that will be randomly. Watch out for Ludwig von Koopa, that’s all I can tell ya! '
''''Coin Land: Fifteen levels and five fortresses await you, full of coins! Of course, there are lots of enemies too, so be ready for an onslaught of bad with the good. Also, beware of Wendy O. Koopa’s Coin Castle. It’s full of danger. You’ll be offered many extra lives as well as many lost lives, as well. Of course, if you made it this far, you’ll probably make it, I hope. Actually I don’t hope, because I want this to be the first game ever to not be beat! Oh, yeah, by the way, Wendy throws candy rings at you. Big surprise, huh? Well, you’ve got to use your Tanooki Suit to beat her. How? Not by fire, and not by tail wagging, but by becoming a statue (with B and down) right on top of her. You can’t jump on her or you’ll get hit, and she’s on a conveyor belt (again!) which is rapidly moving, so probably you won’t be able to jump over her, which means you’ll have to fly. How? By running back and forth in the small area you get. Of course, down there, you’re still vulnerable to candy ring attacks. How do you avoid them? Try timing your run just right. Statue her three times to earn victory. Remember to re-enter the first pipe to regain your Tanooki Suit if necessary, and also remember your opponent (Wendy O.) will recharge then, and go in and out of pipes randomly, and always after you hit her.'
''''Underground Land: Susan’s land has sixteen levels but only three fortresses. How to beat her? Wait until you get through all the levels filled with Buzzy Beetles. All right, now that you’re through them (but how?), here’s how to beat her. Susan will throw Buzzy Beetles at you. Only with the Sledge Brothers Suit can you beat her. You must stun her with your jump. When frozen, she is vulnerable to a sledge hammer. But sledge hammers do nothing if she’s not stunned. You can only stun her for five seconds, and a touch by a Buzzy Beetle that’s already been thrown will still hurt you. Remember the pipe-reset rule and you’ll earn the 'Susan B. Koopa Suit after five sledge hammer hits. '
''''Ferocious Land: Well, this place is a little step up from only sixteen levels and three fortresses. How about seventeen levels and five fortresses? Hard enough for you? NO?! All right, this means war. Every 'enemy in every Mario game besides bosses and mini-bosses is in every level. Oh, and by the way, Clawdia awaits at the end, at Mini-Castle Koopa. A copy off the real deal, this one will only take the average player a measly three days to complete, considering you don’t eat or sleep on those days. Me? It would only take me, one of the best players, one day without eating or sleeping to complete. It’s *HUGE*! Clawdia awaits at the end of Mini-Castle Koopa, with a room known as Mini-Mini-Castle Koopa. Every enemy in every Mario game besides bosses and mini-bosses is in here, too, or also, or... anyway, by the time you manage to see Clawdia, she’ll simply fire fireballs in circles around herself, but instead of actually fighting her, just avoid her fireballs and watch her explode! '
''''Brick Land: I hate to even have to use his name, but Waluigi is Luigi’s rival, so KILL HIM! Waluigi, I mean, not anyone else. How? Well, after eighteen levels of brick-filled places and four fortresses (not five, however), you’ll meet Waluigi in Waluigi’s World. It’s a whole new world (which sounds like some Disney song), which means after facing all the bricks and Pile-Driver Micro-Goombas, you’ll meet Waluigi, who throws hammers, bricks, and Pile-Driver Micro-Goombas at you. After avoiding them, you’ll have to beat him with a Wendy O. Koopa Suit, throwing five candy rings at him, and in not just any way; they must bounce and land around his neck! After five, the candy rings will explode, and Waluigi’s days of imbecility will be over, and so will Brick Land’s days as well. By the way, remember the pipe reset rule if you lose that Wendy O. suit...'
''''Bullet Land: DK’s land has nineteen boards and five fortresses filled with Bullet and Missile Bills. After 'completing them, you’ll find DK in Donkey Kong Coliseum. Climb to the top to face off with the banana-loving ape. He’ll throw bananas at you, you just have to jump on them and throw them back (just like Clawgrip throwing his stones). Five bananas thrown back wins it, and no suit is required. Just watch out for the Bullet and Missile Bills! '
''''Bomb Land: DK Jr. rules Bomb Land, a place full of Bob-ombs and bomb-chucking Mousers. Twenty levels, not to mention six fortresses, full of bombs, await you. DK Jr. wants you to punch him with the Roy Koopa suit. Well, not really, but that’s how to beat him. Punch him five times, remembering that same pipe-reset 'rule. '
''''Sub-con Land: WHAT?! You’re still alive?! Probably with just one life left, though. So I’ll just make you lose right away, in the first level! What? You survived it? In all, there are twenty-one levels,counting the first level, but no fortresses, each mirrored after real levels from Super Mario Advance. The final castle (Wart’s Lair, pretty dumb name, isn’t it?) is mirrored after level 7-2 in Super Mario Advance. Once at Wart’s Lair, he’ll shell bubbles at you. Of course, there’s no Dream Machine giving you vegetables. You have to beat him with the Larry Koopa Suit. That’s right, the suit you got from beating Larry. You hit B to throw vegetables at him. Easy enough, all you do is hit him three times, right? WRONG!!! You’ve got to hit him six times, when his mouth is open, and, if you lose the Larry Suit, there’s no way to get it back. None at all. So how do you win now? You don’t! No, actually the way to win now is to go back up the chain, through the door, grab the lone vegetable there, go back through the special door (one you can’t go back up through) with the vegetable in hand (only for this door are you allowed to do this), and toss it at Wart when he has his mouth open. This also goes if you stupidly used the Larry Koopa Suit earlier and stupidly lost it. Then you’ll have to follow this slow, long, arduous process to win this hard level and proceed on to Bowser.'
''''Troopa Land: Twenty-two boards and ten fortresses mark Troopa Land, the land of many Koopa Troopas and Paratroopas, not to mention Gun Troopas and Paratroopas, Giant Troopas and Paratroopas, and Giant 'Gun Troopas and Paratroopas. After all of those impossible to beat levels (with all floors being made of ice or conveyor belts), you finally make it to Castle Koopa, which will take the average player five weeks (WITH eating and sleeping) to beat, or a good player only two weeks (WITH eating and sleeping) to beat. Well, at least to get to Bowser. Every floor has ice or conveyor belts running it, so watch out! In Bowser Koopa’s lair, Bowser will spit fireballs, throw hammers, boomerangs, sledge hammers, vegetables, candy rings, punches, circus balls, music notes, ice blocks, Pile-Driver Micro-Goombas, Bullet Bills, and Missile Bills, plus jump to stun you, blow bubbles, talk to stun you, and become larger. The only way to beat him? You can’t! It’s impossible to beat him, and you must stay in the room for ten minutes, standing on those conveyor belts, pushing you towards Bowser. After ten minutes, in comes Princess Daisy, who somehow will throw her crown at Bowser and make him explode. How did she escape and how did Bowser explode? Well, Daisy is not your average Peach, that’s all I can say. '